iCawn anonymoUs

Honest about broken promises.
Broken home. Go under the bridge where karma is.
Start to feel the hurt from another person’s harmlessness.
Get in touch with reality, but never harness it.
Worry about the lack of care in the air I exhale.
Any thought of success in my head fails.
Practice makes a flaw perfect.
Felt worthless for a little while, and all the while its worth it.
Merchants make a single dollar off the purchase.
Searching for a space that understands what earth is.
Still haven’t found it
but if I walk long enough with my head down I’ll eventually be grounded.

Rough hands. Soft touch. 
Got us in strangle hold.
They came and stayed for gold.
Tales are told with a wagging tail.
Fame will fail a dream if that’s what it depends on.
Waste time with no clue what it was spent on.
Dead wrong thinking everything we do is right.
Open doors. No clue of who’s inside.
Move aside when push comes to shove.
Billions of people. Which one to love?
All of them. Problems arise. Who’s solving them?
No need to run the race I’ve been crawling in.
Slow and steady until we know we’re ready.
Hold the heavy to see the light.
We decide what we lock up. 
Loose thoughts that we’re keeping tight.
Feed the fight with a few chants.
You can’t hold it together thinking you can’t.

Insect guts on the basement walls.
The spiders and silverfish didn’t know any better
than to scare the shit out of the giant
that so often pushes their nocturnal adventures
to corners and crevasses where they won’t be seen.
Sorry you didn’t know any better.
I was scared, I didn’t know any better.

“Fine, do what you want. See if I care.” 

Seeing if she did is exactly what he wanted to do. He’d like to think that statement alone proved she did. There was no thinking his way through what she really meant though. That was a lesson he had learned over time. For all he knew, she really didn’t give a rat’s ass. Maybe she just wanted even more of a reason to prove he’s the piece of shit that left that rat’s ass a long time ago. Maybe she did care and he really has been screwing up. Has she been right all along? Still, her daring tone turned his weary actions into fearless fuck-ups time and time again. If you ask me, they were never really good for each other.

Nothing is gone until the memory is lost.
Sometimes I feel it slipping,
then I catch it right before it falls.
I’ve had fragments of my mind make that leap
and I tried to watch them plummet
into the darkness I like to call nothing.
There was no holding on though,
once the connection from it to I was lost.
I suppose that blackness is more than nothing.
I’ll call it the void I can’t feel.
Forgotten thoughts longing to be remembered.

That’s not extraordinary.
That’s just a bunch of ordinary
with some extras added to mask the taste.
I guess they all want what’s normal anyway.
Just use the remote control and call it you’re own.
Once your mind is made, have your mind made for you.

I want to make you something beautifully musically.
I think I know what you want to hear. I have to stay true to me.
I hope they meet somewhere in the middle as I scribble words.
Confuse my mind as I put it on a page it riddles yours.
Its hard to keep it positive when perfect brings its flaws with it.
We can keep it growing even if it means we’ll rot a bit.
Thought of this trying to act out of impulse. 
Taking silence as a compliment and compliments as insult.
Been faltered since the first step
but the the fact that we keep going means everything is perfect.

Set in stone, but it all erodes.
Follow roads just to reach a dead end.
Mark it with a red pen.
The blood matches ink until it dries.
Fill my eyes with tears that are clear
so I can steer clear from the pier.
A long walk on a short dock. Take a dive.
Think the sky is falling
until they realize that they can fly.
Take an arm and face the harm. Better together. 
They say we all die alone, and I say never say never.
Always say always when mentioning our destiny.
Life’s a war within ourselves.
I’ll take a nap and rest in peace.

Once it starts there’s no finishing.
Could go back to where we were, but we’ll just end up here again.
Life is a cycle, not a circle. Keep moving on.
Proving wrong to be right until our mouths can keep tight.
Conversations without arguments are rare, but what are the stakes
of everything being over done when we come to a place
that’s the same? You can ask my name
but I might make it up just so that the past will change.
Different actions and words spoke. Think its an absurd joke.
I try to make sense of an angel’s ascension. Watch her float.
Wondering what’s happening with flight without flapping wings.
Can’t think the impossible is what it is. It hasn’t been.
See through the veil and prevail to be great.
Please wait for when the time’s right and we’ll relate. 

Tall Fence

Knock myself down just to pick myself up.
The cooling lava’s beautiful when volcanoes erupt.
Destruct the reduction and let it build again.
A relationship can sink and we can still be friends.
There might be a fence up. Climb it.
Meet at the top and we’ll pick the side we both can confide in.
Try things never even thought of. There’s no need to plan.
Hold a knife to it and take a slice. You can keep my hand.
One to give and one to lend. Value isn’t money spent.
Its the way we see each other when one opens up to vent.
Don’t care about blown air. Just breathe it in.
No need for a challenge when there’s never been a need to win.
Keep a chin up, but too high and the ground will shift
without us even noticing the mess that they found us in.
Thanks for the reminder that one day I can find her.
Until then I’ll still be on the fence. I’m a climber.

Working toward finding a place to rest.
Trying to retire and I haven’t even made it yet. I’ll take a step
back and look at where I’m left at.
Don’t even know where this guilt came from. At least I can confess that.
Text that to the kid that doesn’t even have a phone
‘cause he wants to be left alone to wander and roam.
Honour the clones that can break free and be their own.
Honour the kings that can fall and still keep the throne.
See the stone that holds the sword.
Pull it out with your own strength but don’t ignore what you were told before.
Every thought has its use.
Hold it tight or maybe its the type you should let go loose.
A nets a hoop, don’t get caught.
Just take a shot and go for a goal when they say stop.

Break a sweat. Break a leg. Break your neck.
Take respect and sell it off as a way to make a cheque.
Hate what’s left after emptying my soul out.
Seems that they all sold out. I’m going to have to hold out.
I don’t even know what part of me is talking.
There only is one option when looking for shoes to walk in.
Walk out because I couldn’t take it any more.
Many before have picked up fakeness off the floor.
Wear it to impress until they’re taking off your dress.
You seem thankful for what’s next when they’re tasting all your flesh.
Wait for the morning and learn it was just lust.
A promise for a good time. The falseness of the trust.
Not even awake to see them go, but the smells left.
Reminder of the time when you thought that you felt best.
Should have known the feeling couldn’t stay when you didn’t try
to put in time. They left with everything you said you couldn’t hide.

Sometimes I want to die and what kills me the most
is when I look into the mirror and I’m already a ghost.
Dreams and hopes destroyed. I used to be a little boy.
Then I grew into an asshole that just lives to kill the joy.
Fill the void and avoid making eye contact.
They’re not proud of me ‘cause I wouldn’t sign contracts.
Their opinions start to rub off. I don’t know where my self esteem went.
Instead of creating, they’re just seeing me vent.
The pretense of our friendship is wreckless.
They don’t want to see me in the morning. They already went for breakfast.
I’ve said what I said and I meant it.
I know they don’t give a really give  fuck. I just need a way to end this.
Not my life entirely. The life that I’m leading though.
I don’t why they lie to me everytime I let secrets go.
I feed a foe because I heard to keep enemies close.
When your worst enemy is yourself, defend with a pen and just cope.

The instruments bringing me back all my innocence.
Remembering days without experience, only witnessed it.
Picturing when I’d be older, avoiding the ignorance.
That thought was pretty ignorant ‘cause now it seems I’m living it.
Need to make a change. Wish it could just stay the same.
Look in the mirror with a face deranged, covered in hate and pain.
Maybe time to learn a lesson. Turn away from stressing out.
Less is more. What’s the best amount? It seems the test is now.
Measure how much I need to keep my sanity.
Stay away from consuming so much that it’ll damage me.